It is one of those subjects that many people have been through, too many really. It is something you don’t wish on anyone to experience.
I have said it is kind of like a death but worse because there is no finalization to it. It is the death of hopes and dreams, plans and stories, the end of a certain story that started out with the most beautiful of intentions. Even for the person who decided to end the relationship – they go through different stages of mourning as well.
My one wish for the people that go through this, is that they could deal with it in more of a business transaction way versus so emotional. Usually there is a lot of hurt and emotions involved which creates a lot of drama, hurtful words and actions, anger, resentment and bitterness.
This environment is so unfair to all involved, especially the children. They tend to end up in a tug of war – unfortunately. It is very hard on the kids, even when it is a more civil experience. Please think of the children when going through this. You are both their parents – please be respectful of that information and relationship.
Try not to involve the children in the whole process and put their needs and emotions ahead of yours – they are your precious gifts from the relationship and deserve to be valued and cherished – not manipulated and having to take sides.
Of course, there are always different issues that come into effect, and I recognize and realize that - all I am wanting to mention is try your best to take the emotion out of it and be fair for your children.
Points to Ponder:
Don’t let your hatred for each other overpower the love for your children.
Forgive – not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace.
Self-Care is a very important part of this – please see the post dated October 27, 2021.
Remember there are some good memories, some good times.
